What I Realized During Covid

It goes without saying: There is goodness within every evil. Besides all the weird af news we heard in 2020 that further convinced us this is indeed a stimulation, Covid alone continues to provide enough stress to overwhelm us for a lifetime. However, the pandemic has opened up an unprecedented time frame within our lives – which many of us used for fruitful introspection. Although a large portion of us kept busy with responsibilities around work and family, the instant removal of outside obligations and social responsibilities left us:

1) Overwhelmed in quarantine and having one existential crisis per day.

2) Feeling like we’re going a bit *cuckoo* 🐔 

3) Realizing things. (Thank you Kylie Jenner circa 2016 for the inspiration).

Kylie Jenner Realizing Things Gif

Some of my biggest realizations were around how I view my own self-worth, and the toxic thoughts that stand between me and actual, soul-driven confidence. This is why I decided to quit my job which I was desperately hanging onto for two years due to my fears of not being able to find another suitable position in Istanbul’s ever-shrinking arts scene.

  • How I view myself should not be tied to what my job or position is.
  • I should be more concerned with the actual value that my job creates, rather than how it might make me look as a person. (These may be obvious to some, maybe I’m just immature).
  • I can take periods of unemployment to figure out what I actually want to do.
  • What you most enjoy is what you escape to do in your spare time.
  • Being an idealist is only an option if you are realistic about what you are sacrificing in the process.
  • The ideal job would help you to mentally and financially support yourself outside of the job.
  • If there aren’t enough opportunities in a given field, it is best to just venture out and experience this lack first-hand, rather than to postpone the confrontation (I realize that this is only a possibility if one is able to support her/himself during the process.)

It has almost been a year since the pandemic disrupted and overturned everything. As we are getting closer to ringing in 2021, I really hope that my realizations will remain permanent even when the fog has lifted. This situation makes me think of the words of Sufi poet Shams Of Tabriz, “If you think ‘My life will be upside down‘ don’t worry. How do you know down is not better than up?” . Maybe our world post-Covid will be a more fulfilling place after all.